THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS FROM WHICH WE MIGHT MAKE A COMMISSION.
Zach recently made me watch the movie Hostel. It’s this movie where these guys are backpacking through Europe and get lured away to Bratislava where they discover this murder club where people pay money to murder backpackers. He knew I was already scared to stay in a hostel and this just put me over the edge.
I’m afraid to stay in a hostel abroad! I’ve never stayed in one before! I’d much rather stay in a nice plush hotel room with a pool and a mini bar, but I know Zach is going to make me stay in hostels when we travel around the world together. I know they’re cheaper and all that, but I just hate thinking about it!
Like I totes know I’m not going to get murdered or whatevs, but hostels are still scary places. Here are nine reasons I am scared to stay in a hostel (besides the fact that I may get kidnapped and murdered):
1. Hostels are dirty and smelly.
Backpackers don’t shower or wear deodorant or do laundry and you’re all in this tiny little room together. It’s going to stink, right? Like really really bad. I’m sure they never clean the rooms or wash the sheets ever either so it’s going to be so gross.
2. Hostels are noisy.
A lot of hostels have bars or at least common rooms so people are drinking and playing loud music all through the night. Plus people will come in and out of the dorm rooms at all hours so I will never get any sleep!
3. People have S-E-X in hostel beds.
I’ve heard that people have sex in dorm rooms. Like, with other people in the room. O-M-G Gross! I don’t want to hear that or see that. At least in college you could put a sock on the doorknob so your roommate doesn’t come in. And someone might have had sex in the bed that I HAVE TO SLEEP ON. EEEEWWWWW.
4. Hostels have no privacy.
In a hostel you share a room with 3-20 or so strangers. You can never be alone! I’m going to constantly be surrounded by people.
5. Hostels have bed bugs.
I always thought bed bugs were just a fictional made up thing in a nursery rhyme. But they are real. You can get bed bug bites from sleeping a dorm room and then they latch on to your clothes and you carry them with you everywhere and get these ugly red bumps all over your skin. And then you probably have to burn all your clothes to get rid of them but I LIKE MY CLOTHES.
6. You have to share a shower with everyone.
Sure, I had to share a bathroom in my dorm room freshman year, but the girls in college cared about what they looked like and don’t smell. I can’t imagine what a hostel shower would be like!
7. Someone is going to steal my stuff.
I like my stuff! But with strangers coming in and out of my room all day how can I trust any of them to not just help themselves to everything in my backpack?
8. You have to share a room with boys.
I know that there are female-only dorms at some hostels but not all of them. Plus I’m going to be traveling with Zach so we’re going to end up in the same room anyways. But UGH. At least girls smell nice and take care of themselves and don’t snore and fart all night long.
9. Hostels don’t have any amenities.
In hotels you get little bottles of shampoo, towels, hair dryers, coffee makers, and room service. I don’t think hostels even give you sheets. Hotels just have everything and with hostels I’m not going to get ANYTHING.
I’m so afraid to stay in a hostel abroad! Have you ever stayed in one? Are they as scary as they seem? Are my fears reasonable?