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Sometimes readers send us questions and I do my best to answer! This one seemed like it might be relevant to many of our readers so I decided to answer publicly via a blog post!
Dear Backslackers,
I have a travel question and hope you can help! I’ve been with my boyfriend, let’s call him Danny, for six years — we were high school sweethearts! Soon I’ll be graduating from college and really want to take a year off to travel before I settle down to a full-time job. The problem: Danny is a year younger than me and still has a whole year of school left. I really love him and we always talk about getting married some day, but I don’t want to settle down until I’ve experienced EVERYTHING! I really don’t want to break up with Danny but he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to be in a long distance relationship and doesn’t approve of me traveling alone. Should I stay with my boyfriend and postpone traveling? Should I go traveling without his approval? Should I break up with my boyfriend to travel the world? What should I do?
<3 Meg
Hi Meg. Thank you for sharing your question with us! I’ll do my best to answer and hope we can help! As far as I see it, if you’re thinking of breaking up with someone to travel the world, you have five options to choose from:
Should I break up with my boyfriend to travel the world?
1. Your boyfriend should go traveling with you.
The first thing you should do is try to convince your boyfriend to go traveling with you. It’s a win win for everyone involved. You no longer would have to travel by yourself and would have a man around to protect you if things got scary, who could help you with your bags, and could do all the planning. It really would save you all the troubles of traveling so you could concentrate on having fun! It also would be super romantic to travel with a boyfriend! I couldn’t imagine taking a gondola through Venice or standing on top of the Eiffel Tower without a boyfriend by my side. Plus, since it would be an amazing opportunity for you it would also be an amazing opportunity for him! Who wouldn’t want to travel around the world! Explain to your boyfriend what a once-in-a-lifetime trip it would be for him and that if he really loved you he would do everything he could to join you. He can always quit school for now and finish later. If he was with you he wouldn’t have to worry about you and you wouldn’t even have to think about breaking up!
2. Break up with your boyfriend and travel alone after the break up.
If your boyfriend traveling with you isn’t an option, you might have to break up to travel the world. Face it, he’s a guy and he probably won’t want to stay with you if you’re off having fun without him. If you really value travel over love, breaking up may be the only option. You might be sad at first but when you’re on the road you’ll realize how many men are out there and probably forget that you were ever in a relationship to begin with. While six years is a long time to be with someone it’s also a long time to be with someone. So cut your losses and travel.
3. Stay home with your boyfriend.
Another option is to stay home with your boyfriend and don’t travel. It’s a difficult choice, I know, but if you really love your boyfriend and want to get married, why leave? You can always travel when you retire. Many people go off traveling hoping to find some exotic romance, but there’s really no reason if you’ve already met the man of your dreams. I know you want to “experience everything” but you won’t get to experience much anyways if you’re on the road thinking about someone back home.
4. Stay together and travel.
There’s also the possibility to make it work where you travel while he’s back home. He might be a little mad if you defy his wishes, but it’s your life and if he loves you he’ll understand. Long distance relationships can work. You can always send postcards, Facebook chat, sext, and Skype from anywhere. Just be aware that you both might be miserable with this option. He’ll probably be jealous that you’re out experiencing the world while he’s stuck in class. He’ll probably be nervous that you’re going to end up cheating on him with some hot Australian surfer. And you’ll probably be bitter that you have to disrupt your good time to check in with your boyfriend and you’ll probably end up cheating on him with some hot Australian surfer.
4. Stay together and have an open relationship.
Another option is to stay with your boyfriend but agree to an open relationship. If you’re in an open relationship you both will continue being boyfriend and girlfriend but are allowed to date or sleep with other people on the side. That way you still have your boyfriend but neither of you have to feel guilty when one (or both) of you inevitably cheat. This might be a good option because it will allow you to hold ties back home but still enjoy your trip without any guilt if something comes up. Who knows – you might even find yourself a travel boyfriend who you like even more than your at home boyfriend!
So, there you have it Meg! Do you have to break up with your boyfriend to travel the world? Maybe. But maybe not! There are a lot of options and you have to decide which one is right for you and your boyfriend. I can’t tell you which is the right choice, but I know you’ll make the right decision for you!
What do you think? Would you break up with your boyfriend to travel the world? Which choice is right for Meg or for you?
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